


Who's Zoomin' Who?

by Love (crazylove)



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: 10000-30000 words, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-27
Updated: 2010-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-07 14:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazylove/pseuds/Love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anoop, Megan and Matt spend a weekend together at a resort in Arizona while Anoop struggles for his feelings for both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who's Zoomin' Who?

Anoop loved to think about the first time he saw Megan naked.

This was never something he would never admit to anyone, not even Megan, although she'd probably get a kick out of it. Anoop was kind of disgusted by the way he could stare out of a window and slip into such a vivid memory that used to trigger a dozen different fantasies. He just didn't let his mind drift like that. Not usually. There was just too much he could be thinking about, so much to focus on, always something to do. Even now he could have been looking at the GPS to make sure that Matt was still on track. But no, he was thinking about Megan, seeing her in his mind, zooming in on her pink nipples, half-hard in the California sun.

That was the effect she had on him.

It was before he knew her really. Maybe that was the main reason he felt guilty for fantasizing about that moment over and over again. It was a night full of firsts. The first time he had told a huge blatant lie to people-who-mattered when he faked sick to get out of important rehearsal time. The first time he had watched an UNC championship game--or any UNC game at all--completely alone with his hands pressed against his mouth so he really wouldn't make any noise. The first time he rehearsed his story in his head, made sure that he walked with a slightly stooped gait so that his stomach ailment would seem genuine. Of course, after UNC won he couldn't really smile about it since he was supposed to be sick and all so that was a first too because Anoop wasn't used to having to repress something like a smile. Usually when he wanted to grin like an idiot there was very good reason behind it and no reason to hide. His friends had explicit instructions about when to text him with the good news so he could let loose.

By the time he got back rehearsal had ended and the stage manager gave him a stack of papers and sent him on his way in one of the American Idol vehicles that shuttled them back and forth. Anoop wasn't worried. He would catch up with Adam or Kris or Michael, the ones who seemed to have it together and retained information well. It was just after dark and he walked through the gates, strolling the back lot of the mansion, replaying the last moments of the basketball game in his head and then all that stopped because he saw her.

Megan was standing at the edge of the pool with her hair wet, staring down into the water. Anoop always saw her face first in his mind's eye. She looked so serene and thoughtful, like all of the answers to the mysteries of the world were right on the tip of her tongue. She looked beautiful. She looked powerful. Then he thought about her naked body. Breasts full, bigger than he imagined them before, stomach tucked tight and flat, a perfect belly button dipped right in the middle, and her long legs pressed tightly together like she was really meant to be a mermaid instead of designated hot girl on a reality television show.

He didn't stop to stare at her. It was more like a pause, a glance and then he looked away but that was all it took for him to notice everything and for Megan to notice him.

"Everyone went out to get ice cream," Megan said, no noticeable change in her voice. She sounded like she was talking to him during rehearsal or if they were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table. "I thought you were with them."

She slipped under the water before he could say anything, a perfect little dive without any splash. He didn't know how she could do that. Anoop hurried back to the room he shared with Danny and hid in there, completely embarrassed, for the rest of the night. It was good everyone thought he was sick because no one really missed him. The next day he prepared an apology while he took his shower. As soon as he saw her, though, he knew he couldn't go through with it. It wasn't that he didn't want to it was just unnecessary and the way Megan smiled at him, well, he just couldn't push the thought out of his mind.

Maybe she liked it.

Anoop never did apologize. In fact, they never really discussed the incident even after they started hooking up for real. So Anoop just liked to fantasize about it whenever he had a free moment.

Or when Matt's hand was in his lap.

This was Anoop's life now, fantasizing about Megan when he was driving with Matt or engaging in phone sex with Megan while Matt was jerking him off. It could be so confusing. While he did enjoy Matt's hands and his lips and what he could do with them but most of the time it felt so much much easier just to think about Megan naked like he used to when he had nobody around to touch him at all. He used to hope Megan would notice him every night.

It was amazing how fast things could change.

The drive to Arizona actually wasn't as painful as Anoop was anticipating. They left in the middle of the night to avoid all LA traffic and now the sun was high in the sky and the road was clear. Despite the early start, Anoop wasn't feeling tired. Matt drove with one hand on the steering wheel, gripping it lazily and alternating between stuffing his face with Oreos or resting his free hand on Anoop's thigh.

"That's my jam," Matt said. "Turn it up."

Anoop didn't recognize the song. Matt ended up pressing the volume button on the steering wheel so the music became almost unbearably loud. Anoop pressed the heel of his hand against his ear but Matt had a hold of his other wrist and he was shaking his arm around, also dancing in his seat.

"Can you just drive?" Anoop asked, turning the music down.

"You're always ruining my fun," Matt said, grinning. Anoop tried not to smile back but Matt was still holding him and he couldn't help it.

"I want to see a cow," Matt said. "How come we haven't seen any yet?"

"We're in the desert," Anoop said. "There's no cows here."

"But what about Buffalo?" Matt said. "I heard there were the cows of the desert."

"What?" Anoop said. "No you didn't."

"That's what I heard! How you gonna tell me what I _heard_?"

Anoop rolled his eyes, unwilling to respond to Matt's nonsense or his ill-constructed sentence.

"Eat your cookies," Anoop said.

"I can think of something else I want to eat," Matt said. Anoop groaned.

"When you're eating cookies means you're not talking," Anoop said. "That's good."

Matt laughed and leaned over to kiss him. Despite the fact that Matt had taken his eyes off the road for a moment, Anoop kissed him back.

He could remember the first time that happened too.

"I'm so excited," Matt said. "It's been such a long time since I've been to a good show. And I love this resort so much. Can you believe it's been almost a year since we've been here? It feels like yesterday!"

"It feels like a million years ago," Anoop said, glancing out of the window again. He didn't remember this scenery at all. There really wasn't much to look at, bare bushes and red dirt. He remembered being on the bus, on the tour, back in the beginning when his heart was pounding all the time. Back then everything looked so beautiful.

"It can't feel like both!" Matt said. "I wish we could have the same rooms. Wait, remember when there was that lizard in our bathroom? How did it get in there? Maybe I don't want the same room. Seriously, how did it get in there?"

"You opened the window," Anoop said.

"I never opened it, I swear! That lizard must have lived there. They are very wiggly. It could have squeezed between a crack in the wall or--"

"There's our exit," Anoop said, pointing ahead urgently. Luckily, Matt didn't miss it and then they were gliding down smoothly paved streets and they both recognized the entrance to the resort immediately.

"Wow," Matt said. "It's even more amazing the second time around. Right?"

Anoop had to agree for once. First of all, he wasn't immediately dying from heat stroke as soon as he opened the door. It was April so it was still fairly reasonable outside, although it was still quite warm. He was used to the heat now now having spent the last six months in LA. West coast heat was different from down South. He didn't sweat as much as he did at home but the end of the day in LA he felt like his skin was covered in a thin, sticky film. It also didn't smell as good as summers in North Carolina.

Palm trees towered over them, surrounding the parking lot and providing patchy spots of shade underneath their huge leaves. Anoop could see the sparkling pool from where he was standing and the two hot tubs that surrounded it. The bungalows were right off the pool, a temporary escape for anyone who wanted a lot of privacy and had plenty of extra cash. He walked with Matt towards the main building which was the hotel they stayed at last time.

"I think the walls are different," Matt said as they entered the air-conditioned lobby. Anoop didn't remember a single thing about the walls but they were yellow enough to make his teeth hurt.

"There she is," Matt said. When Anoop saw her he almost didn't recognize her and he didn't know why.

"I can't believe you two are actually on time," Megan said. Anoop just stared at her but it didn't matter because Matt was already making his move. He swept Megan up into a huge hug, both of them giggling insanely. Anoop stood there awkwardly until Megan stepped in front of him and placed her hands on his face.

"Hi Anoop," she said. Megan smelled like flowers and sunscreen. Anoop wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight.

"Hi Megan," he said. He was smiling, they all were, but there was a funny tugging sensation in the pit of his stomach. He didn't know why. Megan hugged him tighter, practically hanging off of his neck.

"Oh my God, you look so good," Megan said. She slipped away from him and looked back at Matt and then at Anoop again. "Both of you, you look so good." Megan stared at him with shiny eyes. For a moment, Anoop didn't know what to do with himself. Matt saved him by pulling them all into a three-way hug. Matt kissed Megan, then Anoop, on the lips.

Anoop's heart began to beat faster. It had been so long. He'd almost forgotten what it was like.

  


* 

  
Megan had never expected to be involved with two guys at the same time but when she thought about it she realized she always wanted to. It had nothing do with living in Utah or anything like that. Despite outward appearances she had always been a good girl. An interesting girl, yes. A girl full of own ideas who wanted to go her own way, definitely. But at her core she considered herself to be a good girl. She didn't sneak into the boys bathroom during high school and give blow jobs. She planned to be married, she planned to have a kid. She even planned to _ stay_ married but she quickly learned that life does not go your way no matter how good you are so she decided to say "fuck it" and be a little bad.

Not bad as in drugs and knife fights and prostitution but bad as in going after that impossible dream, the singing, the performing, something she didn't even knew she truly wanted to do until she gave herself permission to do it. She gave herself permission to be a little weird and she laughed at the people who laughed at her. She gave herself permission to be honest, even when it wasn't the prettiest thing to do because she wasn't just the pretty _thing_ they tried to force her to be on tour and she let people know that with no apologies.

The other bad thing was that she started messing around with Matt and Anoop at the same time.

It was inevitable with Anoop. There was just an attraction there, an energy between them that could not be ignored. She just wanted to mess him up a little-- rip his shirt off, rough up his hair, makes some marks on his beautiful brown skin. It took some time. Anoop was focused. He wasn't exactly shy but Megan knew he could talk himself out of just about anything. He didn't really loosen up until the middle of the tour. Megan attributed it to the raw sexual charge that would be in the air especially after his set and then Matt's set and then the group song where Anoop was at his most confident, rapping from center stage and slinging his body around with those lame dance moves that he managed to make totally sexy. All of a sudden they were kissing and grabbing at each other after the show one day. Megan sighed when she finally felt Anoop's sweet tongue in her mouth and his large hands brushing over her breasts under her shirt. It was even better then the fantasies she had after she let Anoop see her naked. She was only sad that hadn't been enough of an invitation back during the show.

Matt was more of a surprise. She just could never figure out his focus. Matt's eyes were always wandering and his smile was special for everyone. He flirted just as easily as he talked so Megan didn't really think much of it until Matt kissed her outside of a bar one night while they were on tour. They started having sex before she and Anoop did. It wasn't until the sex that Megan started to feel guilty about her arrangements. She suspected that they both knew about each other. They were roommates and Matt never stopped talking. Not before sex, not during, not after. It was because of all this talking that Megan learned that Matt wanted to hook up with Anoop, too.

"He's really sexy," Matt confessed one night near the end of tour while they were still laying in Megan's bed.

"Yeah," Megan said. "I should know."

"He'd never be into it." Matt sighed.

"How do you _know_?" Megan said, squeezing his arm. "Until you try it."

"I don't think I could pull it off," Matt said, laughing a little.

"If anyone can pull it off with Anoop," Megan said, kissing him lightly. "It's you."

"What about this?" Matt asked. Megan kissed him again, harder this time.

"I think it would be really fun," Megan said. "If it were the three of us."

Just like everything else, Megan didn't know that's what she really wanted until she said it.

Miraculously, it all fell into place after that. The first time they all hooked up as a legitimate threesome was in LA and just seemed like _such_ an LA thing to do. Megan felt cosmopolitan, accomplished, satisfied and most of all she was pretty damn happy. Matt and Anoop made great lovers and even better friends. When they weren't together they did their own thing. Anoop was carving his way through LA, Matt traveled frequently between Michigan and LA while Megan was unwilling to give up small town living for Ryder in Utah but she still needed the music community in California. They saw each other whenever they could. She talked to the guys all the time. She know anyone else in this particular kind of a relationship but she was confident that everything was going well. She could hear it in Matt's voice when she was getting him off and she could see it in Anoop's eyes.

She was more than enough woman for both of them.

Six months later things were still going well and she was glad they had this weekend in Arizona to catch up. Megan had a Saturday night show at the resort and they set her up with a fancy bungalow at her disposal. She couldn't think of a better use for it.

"I have a rehearsal with the band tonight. But I'm free until then and afterward," Megan said, after she ushered them both to her bungalow with their bags. It was just like a small condo, their own personal space. There was a small kitchen, a decent sized living area and a large bedroom with a king sized bed that had a canopy. The bathroom had a steam shower and there was a hot tub outside on the back deck big enough to seat two comfortably but it would fit three if they squeezed.

"How long until you go to rehearsal?" Matt asked.

"Not for another hour," Megan said. "But It's my band. I can be a little late."

"I like that," Matt said. "I like a woman in charge."

"I know you do," Megan said and then she kissed him, If anyone had to be in charge in this situation it was her. Matt responded to her immediately, opening his mouth wider and tangling his tongue with hers. He tasted like Oreos. Matt always tasted sweet. She grabbed fistfuls of his curls and pulled slightly. Matt was a sucker for hair-pulling and Megan liked anything remotely rough so she was happy to oblige.

They made out for a few minutes. Megan could feel her own happy panting echoing in her ears. It just felt so good to be touched again. Matt's hands caressed her breasts over her clothes and she could feel him pressed up against her hard already. That made Megan even more excited. Matt's teeth bit down on her lip gently and she moaned.

"Anoop," Megan said. She knew she was missing something. Anoop wrapped his arms around her from behind. She craned her head back and waited for his soft lips to touch hers. "You don't have to wait for an invitation."

Anoop kissed her harder while Matt was tugging at her shorts, unzipping them clumsily and then pulling them down. Megan let out a deep breath when Anoop moved away from her lips and started kissing and sucking her neck with his hands pressed flat against her stomach after he slipped them under her shirt. Matt crouched down in front of her and used his mouth to take off her black lace panties, raking his teeth against her gently and she shuddered. Anoop pulled her shirt off over her head as Matt began to kiss her down there, using his tongue in a way that made Megan's knees threaten to buckle underneath her.

"Guys," she said. "Can we take this to the bed? Please?"

"Whatever you say," Matt said, grabbing her legs and pulling them off the ground. Anoop hooked his arms under her shoulders and together they carried her to the bed.

"One," Matt chanted as they swung her back and forth like a sack of flour. Megan laughed hysterically. "Two. Three." Megan squealed as she was tossed on the bed so hard she almost bounced off of it. Matt fell on his side beside her and Anoop climbed on the bed carefully, kicking off his flip-flops.

"Now where were we?" she said. She grabbed Anoop's shirt and pulled him closer.

"Ravaging you," Matt said, slipping his hand between her legs. Megan gasped at his cold fingers and squeezed her thighs tight against his hand.

"Don't forget about each other," Megan said.

"We always see each other," Matt said.

"I don't," Megan said.

She unhooked her bra while she watched Matt kiss Anoop. She always wondered if Anoop's face relaxed as much with her as it did when he was kissing Matt. She ran her hand over her right breast, massaging her nipple until it was hard against her palm, while she moved herself up and down against Matt's hand. She loved watching them kiss. It turned her on more than almost anything else. Whenever she used her vibrator alone in Utah that was all she would think about. They were so intense, teeth and tongue and lips and hands grabbing everywhere. Matt had two fingers in Megan now and she was breathing harder and harder.

"Oh God," she gasped when she felt Anoop's open mouth on her collarbone. She was so close now. Megan reached out for Matt as he pulled his cock out of his shorts with his free hand. Matt pushed his fingers deeper inside of her and she felt another spasm of pleasure ripple through her body and she closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them Anoop had tossed off his shirt and was leaning in-between Matt's legs, kissing him again, so that they were groin-to-groin, rubbing their cocks together. Seeing Anoop's tight ass moving and Matt's loose-lidded look of pleasure on his face was enough to send Megan over the edge. She thrust her head back and bit her lip as she came against Matt's hand with a gasp that got caught in the back of her throat so she was only really able to gurgle.

It didn't matter because the boys were making enough noise for all of them, especially Matt, who was always noisy. She scooted away from Matt's hand, watching Anoop thrust himself against Matt and she wished that Anoop was doing that to her but they had the whole weekend. There was plenty of time.

"Come here," Megan said, grabbing Matt's shirt and tugging it off of him. She wrapped a hand around both their cocks. She loved getting them off at the same time. It made her feel like she had special powers. But Matt came after only a couple twists of her wrist, swearing loudly, gripping the edge of the bed. Megan shook her hand off and grinned down at Anoop, who was laying on his back after he rolled off Matt.

"You win," she said before taking his cock deep into her mouth. She knew that anything useful the boys had learned about a blow job they had learned it from her. She slid her tongue slowly up the underside of Anoop's cock and sucked gently on the head, running her tongue around the edges. Matt leaned over and kissed Anoop on the lips and then she felt Anoop's hips buck and his come filled her mouth as he orgasmed. She had barely swallowed before she felt Matt kissing her with a smile on his lips.

"You're so dirty," she said, wiping her mouth after Matt pulled away.

"I'm jealous," Matt said. "I usually get to make Anoop come."

"It's sharing time now, Matt," Megan said with a laugh. She looked down at Anoop who was staring at them. She pressed her hand against Anoop's hard abs. They were all breathing pretty hard. "You'll have your way with him next time."

"Oh my God," Matt said. "I missed this so much."

"Me too," Megan said, wrapping her arms around Matt and he pulled her into a tight hug so she was straddling his lap. Megan grinned and looked at Anoop again, who hadn't moved. She really loved Anoop but there were times when he could make her uneasy. No matter how long she knew him sometimes it was impossible to read him. She waited for a moment and then Anoop got on his knees so he could wrap his arms around both of them. The hug made her heart flutter harder than any amount of sex could.

It was just what she wanted. The three of them. Together.

  


* 

  
It was easier to want Megan.

Anoop watched her get out of the bed, taking in her tattoos, her long legs, and her hair which was longer and darker than the last time he saw her. She pretty much had a perfect body and she really knew what to do with it.

So why had he been so focused on Matt?

He was so aroused while Matt was underneath him, kissing him, cocks pressed together that he half-forgot about Megan until she was going down on him. Anoop's heart raced just thinking about it. He couldn't even move after Megan was done. He was just surprised.

He had to remember what this weekend was about.

"I have to shower," Megan said. "I'm going to be late. Let's meet in the restaurant at 7:30, okay? That should give us plenty of time to practice."

"Bye baby," Matt said as Megan hurried into the bathroom. Anoop got up to put on his underwear and looked at Matt, lying on the bed.

"I'm so tired," Matt said with a yawn. "That was really fun." Anoop watched him close his eyes. Matt looked almost sweet while he was sleeping. It was the only time he'd be completely still. Anoop tossed and turned. He knew this every time he woke up with his body pressed against Matt's. Lately, that had been happening all the time like Matt had developed a magnetic charge and Anoop kept slipping closer and closer.

Anoop couldn't say he didn't like it.

They didn't spend the night together often. After sex, Anoop could always find something else to do like check sports scores or update his appointment book. Matt liked to go out at night and stay up until all hours trying to book shows or talk to people. Anoop had been woken up countless times by his late-night phone calls where Matt wasn't drunk, just excited and he would talk for a while and no matter how tired he was or despite the fact that he usually had things to do in the morning Anoop would always stay on the line and listen. Truthfully, Anoop admired Matt's tenacity. He would drive all night just for a chance at something he wanted. Matt had a steady schedule of shows. Anoop still asked his parents for money.

Anoop studied Matt's lazily closed eyes, his soft body sprawled across the bed. He knew almost everything about Matt's body, like the way his chest swelled under Anoop's hand or the small spattering of freckles across Matt's ass, located mostly on the left side. He didn't know everything about what Matt was feeling. Anoop never imagined Matt would kiss him until he did.

He didn't know that he would kiss Matt back.

Anoop brushed Matt's hair from his forehead, He was wearing it long for some reason and Anoop wished he would cut it. It was so strange to be feeling this way when Megan was right there. Anoop heard the shower running. Megan, the girl he had thought about for so long during the show, during the tour, she was right there. He could hear the shower running as Matt sighed in his sleep. Anoop turned toward the bathroom.

He wanted to get out of there before he started feeling something he couldn't stop.

The shower was still running when Anoop opened the bathroom door. Megan turned around when he stepped inside after he stripped his underwear off. The shower was large with a bench and four shower heads at various locations on the wall. Megan was only using one of them. Anoop sat down on the bench and pulled her down on top of him.

"You're going to get me dirty again," Megan said, wet and slippery everywhere. Soap got into Anoop's mouth when he kissed her but he didn't care.

"I wanted some alone time," Anoop said against her damp mouth.

"You've got it," Megan said and she kissed him harder. He wanted to hold her but everything kept slipping. Megan was giggling, sliding side-to-side on her legs but Anoop didn't find it nearly as amusing. It was kind of pissing him off. He clamped his hands against Megan's sides.

"Ow," Megan said, twisting out of his grip. "That's kind of hard, Anoop."

"I want to be alone with you tonight," Anoop said.

"Where's Matt going?" Megan asked.

"Nowhere."

"Then how can we be alone?" Megan stood up and Anoop watched her rinse the shampoo out of her hair. She soaped up her body one more time and let the water cascade over her. When she stepped out of the shower she shook her body before reaching for the closest towel. The water was still running, pounding against Anoop's legs.

"I can't wait to see you guys tonight," Megan said, rubbing herself down. "I don't remember the food here being so good but it is."

"I'll see you tonight," Anoop said as he watched her walk out of the bathroom.

It had been two months since the last time he saw her. He didn't expect it to feel so different.

Anoop sat stretched out on the bed while Matt slept. He texted a couple people and then tried reading his kindle but he couldn't concentrate. He just stared at the digital pages until Matt rolled over and woke up about an hour later.

"You wanna go swimming?" he asked.

"I just took a shower," Anoop said.

"So? You can take another one. I think you're supposed to take a shower before going in the pool anyway. I never went swimming last time. That's one of my life regrets. I never thought I'd end up back here. It's fate. Let's go."

"One of your life regrets?" Anoop repeated but Matt was already off the bed and digging around in his suitcase for his swim trunks. He wished he had life regrets as simple as that.

The pool was beautiful. It was large, the water was perfectly clear, and there were a couple of waterfalls along with high and low diving boards. Anoop must have been out of it the whole time they were at this resort because he didn't remember it at all. It really could pass as a life regret if you didn't swim in that pool. Anoop hadn't been aware of that before.

A couple of kids were in the shallow end and their mother sat on a pool chair, talking on the phone. There was a bored looking lifeguard sitting high up, looking bored. Other than that they had the place all to themselves. Matt jumped into the deep end immediately after he kicked off his flip-flops. Anoop sat down carefully on the edge and dipped his legs into the water.

Matt swam over and wrapped his arms around Anoop's legs.

"Are you going to make me pull?" Matt said.

"Don't you dare," Anoop said.

"Then get in," Matt said and instead of pulling Anoop's legs he put his mouth below his right knee and for some reason Anoop kind of liked it.

"I'll get in on my own accord," Anoop said, drawing his knees up and out of the pool. "I bet you can't do a cannonball as well as me."

Matt laughed. Anoop kept his eyes on him as he walked to the low diving board.

"I bet you can't do a cannonball at all," Matt said.

Anoop hadn't jumped off a diving board since he was a teen and standing on it then he felt pretty silly. But Matt was staring up at him with an expression of equal parts admiration and awe which made Anoop feel pretty good because he felt like people rarely looked at him that way. Before he could think any more about it he ran down the length of the diving board and jumped as hard as he could, tucking his knees into his chest as he plummeted into the deep water below.

It was a shock, entering the pool like that and he closed his eyes against the rush of water. It wasn't cold though and when he came up Matt's hands were on his arms.

"That was awesome!" Matt said, eyes wide. Then he scrambled out of the pool to take his turn.

They spent a good half hour diving into the pool. All of Anoop's swimming lessons came back to him and he even did a couple of platform dives off the high diving board. Matt kicked and flipped his way through the air and into the water, although there were a couple of times when Anoop didn't think he'd recover from the horrible way he smacked the water. Matt always came up laughing, though.

"You're gonna feel that in the morning," Anoop said, as they both treaded water, breathing hard.

"I think I'm going to feel _something_ in the morning," Matt said.

"You always make that joke," Anoop said, grinning. that The kids and the mom were gone now. They swam behind one of the waterfalls and even though Anoop knew it wasn't much of a cover he kissed Matt anyway.

"How much time until 7:30?" Matt asked, lips against Anoop's throat. One of his hands was already in Anoop's shorts. Anoop didn't really know how much time they had but he figured that whatever the answer was that it would be enough.

He should have felt guilty but he didn't.

  


* 

  
Something was off.

Megan had felt that from the beginning but she allowed herself to really reflect on it during dinner. Matt was chatty as usual, full of funny stories about his many gigs and Anoop was quiet as usual, breaking in with a question for clarification or a snide observation but at the same time it wasn't the same and Megan didn't know why.

She needed this to work.

"Let's get drunk," Megan said after the waiter took their dinner plates away.

"You don't have to ask me twice," Matt said.

Anoop just raised his eyebrows like this was a dare, which it wasn't. It was a way to get some information.

"How many groupies do you have hanging around your band?" Matt asked after they toasted over a bottle of wine. Just because they were getting drunk didn't mean they couldn't be classy about it. Anoop picked the wine off a long list and it was white, slightly sweet. "Tell us the truth so we can be jealous."

"Not too many, honestly," Megan said. "I don't know. It's different for girls. Plus, they must know I'm spoken for."

"They better recognize," Matt said. "You don't got one, you got two dudes that would kick some ass if anyone tries to mess with you."

"I should worry about you and your groupies," Megan said. "I bet they are way more aggressive."

"I manage to fight them off," Matt said with a smile. Megan looked over at Anoop as he finished his glass.

"Matt does have some pretty girls hanging around his shows," Anoop said. "I bet we could both hook up with one of them. Then when you come to LA you could get with her too. The more the merrier, right?"

Matt laughed. "Yeah, right."

But Megan just stared at him as he poured another glass of wine.

"I wish you could move to LA," Matt said. "I miss you. It sucks only seeing you like every other month."

"She can," Anoop said.

"No she can't." Now Matt looked annoyed. "She has to stay in Utah with Ryder."

"She's physically capable of it," Anoop said. "She just doesn't want to."

Megan leaned back in her chair. She hadn't taken her eyes off of Anoop the whole time. "Do you have a problem or something, Anoop? What's bothering you?"

"Nothing," he said. "Just giving Matt a grammar lesson."

"I already forgot whatever you said," Matt said. "I'm drinking wine."

"I'm just trying to do what's best for me," Megan said. She folded her arms on the table. She didn't want any wine, she wanted to be able to do her best to read Anoop. But even after a year of knowing him and studying his face and running through all the scenarios in her head she just couldn't figure him out. Not completely.

"I'm just kidding," Anoop said and that really pissed Megan off because it was a blatant lie. Anoop didn't _kid_ and if he did it wasn't like that.

"Seriously, Anoop," Megan said. "You're starting to annoy me."

"Hey," Matt said. "Hey hey hey. We never get to see you, Megan. So we're only allowed to have good times when we're together. Right, Anoop...?" Megan didn't catch whatever look Matt was giving Anoop because she was too busy staring at him. Anoop stared back at her, seemingly unfazed by her feelings. She wanted to throttle him or at least shake him and then throw her arms around him. Her heart burned in her throat.

"If you've got something to say," Megan said. "You'd better start talking."

She kept Anoop's gaze for a moment longer but then he turned away. Anoop shook his head and reached for the bottle of wine. "Nothing," he said. "Let's kill this and go back to the room."

"Wait," Matt said. Megan blinked when she felt Matt's eyes on her and when she looked at him she felt like she was seeing him again for the first time in days. "Let's go to the stage first. I mean, we were going to see where you're performing. Remember?"

Megan remembered as soon as he said that and she swallowed hard because she wasn't even sure she wanted to do it anymore. But Matt was smiling at her and Anoop had already finished his third glass of wine so she couldn't really think of a good reason to say no.

Matt took her hand as they walked out of the restaurant and he put his other arm around around Anoop's back. They walked back through the yellow lobby to the other side where the conference rooms were. The stage was just beyond them, down the hallway which opened up into a club area. Megan didn't even know it existed when they were at the resort the first time. She was pretty sure that none of her tourmates did. If they did they probably wouldn't have been able to resist the call of the stage. Even on their days off most people on the tour were up for a show. It was a simple set up, platform stage and round tables all around for a close, intimate setting. The piano was on the far right and there was more space behind it for the rest of the band but nothing else was set up. Matt let go of her hand and hurried towards the steps to the stage as soon as they were close enough.

"What do you think?" Megan tried Anoop again. He didn't seem very intoxicated, even after he hastily downed three glasses of wine.

"It's nice," he said. "Very nice."

Megan stood there beside him, waiting for more. Of course, Anoop didn't give her anything.

"Seriously," she said in a low voice. "What's wrong?"

"Hey Megan," Matt called from the stage. He wiggled his fingers in the air. "I'm gonna play this thing with or without you!"

"How could he resist?" Megan said. These were the little things they could smile about together. But Anoop only stood there with his lips pressed tight. Megan could tell he was waiting so she jumped on stage too. There wasn't a mic or anything--all of that stuff had to be in some supply closet-- so Megan felt exposed and unprepared standing up there. Matt didn't seem to notice. He was tinkering with the keys and he leaned out from behind the piano and grinned at her.

"I can hear you," Anoop said suddenly, even though she hadn't said anything at all.

"Okay," Megan said.

"We wrote a song," Matt said. "It's a surprise. We wrote it over Skype but we've never played it actually live. Right, Megan?"

"Nope," Megan said. She kept her eyes on Anoop. "I mean, he's right. We've never played it live."

"Let's hear it," Anoop said. He had a way of looking right through people and it could make them feel nervous. Megan had never experienced that before, even when he was looking at her like that, but she felt that way now.

Matt started the song just like they had practiced over Skype and then she was singing the lyrics they collaborated on, and she tried to get lost in the music but the whole time she was hyper-aware of the way Anoop looked at her. She felt like his brown eyes were burning a hole straight through her soul and she wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Matt was a genius at not only controlling the tempo and the melody with his piano but also the emotions of a song. She knew exactly what to sing and how to sing but it still wasn't coming out right. Maybe she really did need a mic. Her hand clutched the empty air. She looked away, across the room, trying to find her place on that stage. When she looked back at Anoop he wasn't watching her anymore. His eyes were on Matt and they were softer yet at the same time his face seemed just as intense. She could see it on Anoop's face, that kind of awed look people had when they really saw Matt play but there was something else there-- a hunger in his eyes or this unbridled affection or even something more, something deeper, something that Megan couldn't name.

Or maybe she just didn't want to.

She thought she knew what Anoop's issue was now and jealousy licked the back of her throat like fire. It made her voice rougher than it usually was. There was a bit of a bite to her words as she sung and she liked it. She moved her hips a little. She stepped forward. She forced him to look at her again and then she threw her head back on the final note, belting it out, not like she usually did, singing it so it filled the entire room and came crashing down on top of their heads.

"We wrote it," Matt said, after the song was over, breathing hard from the exertion of his intense piano playing or maybe just from pure excitement. "We wrote it, Anoop. We wrote it for you."

"I know," Anoop said.

Megan's throat still hurt.

"Let's go back in the room," Megan said. She walked ahead of them so she could hide her face for a little while and take deep breaths. She wanted to prepare herself but when they got back to the bungalow Anoop spoke first.

"I'm getting a headache," he said. "Megan, can I talk to you?"

"About what?" Matt said.

Anoop looked at him coolly. "I said, Megan."

"Excuse me, dude."

Megan grabbed Anoop's arm and hauled him outside. Now that the sun had set it was actually almost chilly. Megan crossed her arms to brace herself against the goosebumps and whatever Anoop had to say.

"What is your problem?" Megan said, because she wanted it all out in the open immediately.

"I love you," Anoop said.

Megan paused because that definitely wasn't the answer she was expecting. She didn't say anything for a moment and then she took a deep breath.

"I love you, too. You know that," Megan said, words clipped so that if anyone passed by they wouldn't think she was in love at all.

"No, I love you," Anoop said. She waited and then he said it again. "Megan, I _love_ you."

"What does that mean?" Megan asked, through clenched teeth. "What do you want me to say?"

"I can't do this anymore," Anoop said. "You can't have it both ways."

Of course, this was what he was talking about. Megan knew that he'd say it. She shook her head.

"No," she said.

"It's not going to work out," Anoop said. "It was never meant to be that way. I don't even know--"

"Anoop," Megan said sharply. "No."

"If it was just us," Anoop continued. "It would be so much simpler."

"Who cares?" Megan said. "I don't want _simple_. What the fuck is the point of that? I love you and I love Matt, too. How can we just throw him away? Don't you get it, Anoop? We're a _family_. You don't just break up families."

"You're not there," Anoop said. "It's just Matt and I all the time. It's just Matt. I need you there."

"What's wrong with that?" Megan asked, thinking about the way Anoop was looking at Matt less than fifteen minutes ago. She grabbed his wrist and pulled as if that would shake something loose inside of him.

"How could you go behind Matt's back?" Megan continued. "We shouldn't even be talking about him like this."

"Yeah, well, you went behind my back to get with Matt," Anoop said, looking at her again, eyes flashing something that Megan couldn't read. "Didn't you?"

Megan paused, choosing her next words carefully. "That's not the same, Anoop," she said.

Anoop gave a sad little laugh and looked away from her. Megan tried to follow his gaze but he was looking over the horizon towards nothing.

"Anoop," Megan said quietly. Now she was even more confused. "What's really going on here?"

"I just wish you were around," Anoop said.

Megan stood there with him, heart pounding. After a moment, she grabbed his arm and leaned up to kiss him but Anoop pulled away.

"I'm a little drunk," he said. "I'm going to walk it off."

Megan watched him walk away, long strides that navigated the path back to the main resort area just fine. When she took a deep breath she realized just how shaken she was.

She really couldn't lose them.

Matt was waiting for her on the bed when she walked back into the bungalow.

"What's wrong?" Matt said.

Megan placed her hands on his face and then slid them back to his hair, finer than it looked and super soft. She kept her hands there for a moment, searching his trusting green eyes and then she kissed him. Just like the piano, Matt knew how to control the emotion of a kiss with his lips. This time he gave her a kiss that was sweet and comforting and satisfying yet completely sexy. She kissed him harder, opening her mouth wider, pouring everything into him. They kissed until her clothes were off and she wasn't even sure how that happened. Matt sat back on the bed and she stroked his cock with both hands.

"Where's Anoop?" Matt asked as she rolled the condom on.

"His headache," Megan said, leaning forward to kiss Matt so nothing else would come out of her mouth. She kissed him while she lowered herself on his cock and felt it sliding deep inside of her. Matt held her, moving gently. She wrapped her arms around his neck, rocking back and forth, matching his rhythm and losing herself there.

  


* 

  
The problem was that when he came back he wanted to lay in the bed.

They were both sleeping there, Matt's body wrapped tightly around Megan who was half-clutching, half sleeping on a large pillow. It was the kind of image that would make anyone smile, especially with the yellow moonlight seeping into the room, scattering over their faces, but it only made Anoop feel out of place.

He just didn't know who he wanted to hold more.

Or maybe the real problem was that he did. He just didn't want to admit it.

He was an asshole and he knew it. It was the side of Anoop he tried to keep hidden from the public but the truth was sometimes Anoop could be an ass. It wasn't even the alcohol. Every action could be linked to his stupid, uncontrollable feelings. He never liked the way you couldn't really control feelings. That's why he tried not to have too many of them.

American Idol ruined all of that.

He closed the french doors to the bedroom softly and sat on the couch in the living area in front of the large flat screen TV. Arizona had a different kind of darkness than LA. It was wild and sprawling and so complete that Anoop couldn't really see the hand in front of his face. but he didn't want to. He didn't know how long he sat there before he felt Matt sit down next to him. Their legs pressed together, hips, thighs, knees. He never gave Matt enough credit. Sometimes he could actually be quiet for an extended amount of time. Anoop leaned back on the couch and Matt put his arm around him. Anoop rested his head on Matt's shoulder.

"How's your head?" Matt asked.

"Still hurts," Anoop said.

"Oh," Matt said.

They didn't say anything else. Anoop tilted his head back and Matt's lips pressed against his. He kept his eyes open, eyelashes brushing against Matt's eyelids, because in this darkness having his eyes open was the same as having them closed. Matt put his hands on Anoop's face and kissed him again. Anoop could feel the hint of Matt's stubble brush across his lower lip. He pulled away slightly so that only their noses were touching and he could feel Matt's breath across his face.

"What's wrong?" Matt whispered.

Anoop knew he could tell him. That was another thing Anoop admired about Matt. He was much more giving than Anoop could ever be. If he said, Matt, I think we should just go to how things were before, Matt would agree. They could still be friends. Matt would push all of that other stuff aside. Anoop wouldn't be able to do that. He'd never be able to go back to just being friends. He couldn't push aside feelings like that. He didn't want to.

Back when he was just with Megan he only thought about her. Now he was with both of them and he couldn't get Matt out of his mind. Maybe if he went back to just Megan these feelings would go away. But then he couldn't see Matt anymore and Matt wouldn't look at him. He was addicted to the way Matt looked at him.

"I'm an idiot," Anoop said.

"Hey," Matt said. "That's my job."

Anoop smiled slightly against Matt's lips and kissed him harder. For some reason it was different being with Matt in Arizona. more urgent, more intimate. He kissed Matt's chest, running his hand down the inside of Matt's right thigh. He could tell Matt was struggling to keep quiet. Even in LA this almost felt like cheating.

Anoop pushed Matt back on the couch and knelt in between his legs, kissing his stomach and then wrapping a hand around cock. If anyone had told him he'd love this so much a year ago, while Matt annoyed him on a daily basis during the show, Anoop would have looked into getting them committed. It was still pretty crazy how much he loved Matt's cock. He moved his hand up and down slowly, kissing Matt while Matt groaned in his mouth. Then he scooted back so he could taste Matt there, pressing his tongue against the head and twisting his hand at the base. Matt's chest heaved in time to his heavy breathing. Anoop used his hand to position Matt's cock in his mouth and he tried not to think about anything but getting Matt off. He sucked him hard, knowing all the little tricks, all the places to put his tongue and the way Matt's hips quivered just before he was about to come and Anoop waited to take him all in.

Matt reached for him as soon as he came but Anoop kept him back, taking off his shirt and then pulling down his own shorts and his underwear.

"Anoop," Matt said.

"Shhh..." Anoop said and kissed him, laying on top of him. He just wanted him there, quiet underneath him. Matt wrapped his legs around him and Anoop kissed him deeper, rubbing himself against him and kissing Matt until he came. Anoop rested his head on Matt's collarbone and looked toward the window. The slightest hint of morning was breaking through the darkness. Anoop could almost see the outline of Matt's chin. He felt every inch of Matt's body pressing against him, Matt's arms wrapped around him and God, did he like it. Even more than that.

He needed it.

"Megan's all alone," Matt said when Anoop thought he might be asleep.

"Yeah," Anoop said.

"Shouldn't we get back in there?" Matt asked.

Anoop knew that they should but they still didn't move for a long time.

Megan was used to being alone. It wasn't a bad thing. She did have Ryder after all and her family was very supportive. Most of the time that was enough. But then she would talk to Anoop over the phone and have an absolute _craving_ to be in his arms or if she was talking to Matt she would wish they were face-to-face so she could see the way he laughed. Those were the times that being alone in Utah sucked. Thinking about the next time they'd all be together was the only thing that could pull her through.

Of course, she'd only been fooling herself.

They ate breakfast outside on the back deck where the day was already starting to heat up but it wasn't uncomfortably hot yet. Matt sat across from her, shirtless in his swim trunks and Anoop was eating neatly on her other side. They both came back to bed around six in the morning. Matt wrapped his arms around her like he had never left.

She barely slept at all.

All night she could hear them outside of the bedroom doors. She heard them moving, Matt's gasps and Anoop's grunts, wet sounds of kissing and whatever else they were doing, low mumbled voices blending together. She listened, holding her pillow, the only thing that would stay with her.

Megan couldn't blame them for choosing each other. She was tough, sure, but she wasn't stupid. No matter what Anoop said last night she knew that he couldn't help it. She wondered why he didn't trust her enough to tell the truth. He had to know that she would never judge him. Anoop's happiness was one of the most important things on the earth to her. She only wanted him to be happy.

But that didn't stop her from feeling hurt.

After all, she only wanted the family she saw in her mind but maybe that's the only place it ever existed. She remembered the way Anoop was staring at Matt while he sang their song last night, the song that Matt had been so eager to write. That's when she really knew.

It was too late to go back now.

"I'm going to be busy for a couple hours this afternoon," Megan said, pushing her English muffin away. "So you guys will have to entertain yourself."

"What are you doing?" Anoop asked.

"Final band rehearsals," Megan said. "We're going to do a photo shoot as well at this place a little ways away."

"I can't wait," Matt said. "After your show we're gonna party. It'll be great to see the band live again."

"Yeah," Megan said. "We'll definitely party." She brought her coffee mug to her lips and accidentally caught Anoop's eye. He looked at her expectantly.

"Megan--" he said but Megan cut him off by scooting her chair back sharply.

"I've really got to go," she said. "I'll check on you guys at lunch or something."

Matt got up and and kissed her on the lips. She put a hand over the hand that he had on her face and smiled. Anoop came up behind her and hugged her and Matt put his arms around Anoop so she was sandwiched in-between both of them. She loved the way they smelled, both together, Anoop shower fresh and Matt wearing some kind of cologne.

It was like old times.

"I love you, Megan," Anoop said.

"Yeah, I love you, Megan," Matt said, squeezing her tighter into Anoop.

"I love you guys, too," Megan said.

She meant it and she knew they meant it but they all meant it in different ways. It just wasn't enough.

Megan skated through rehearsal and the photo shoot even though she was tired. They had a fancy dinner with the resort managers and then it was time to get ready for the show. Megan had her own dressing room, a room on the third floor of the hotel. It reminded her of being back on tour when everyone was so full of excitement. It seemed like there were so many possibilities. Megan just prayed none of them would pass her by. They didn't because Megan went after everything she wanted. She learned quickly that the only way she was going to get what she deserved in this life- was to ask for it.

It didn't always work but she had to ask. Even with Matt and Anoop, all she could do was ask.

She had 20 minutes until showtime when someone knocked on her door. She opened it, expecting to see one of her bandmates, but it was Anoop.

"These are for you," he said, holding out a bouquet of roses.

"Where's Matt?" Megan asked.

"On the phone," Anoop said. "A producer called him."

"Good news?"

Anoop shrugged. "Matt news."

Megan took the bouquet and fingered one of the delicate red petals. "These are gorgeous," she said.

"Yeah," Anoop said. "I know you're supposed to wait until afterward but..."

He trailed off and Megan smiled wryly. They didn't say anything for a moment.

"I don't have anywhere to put them," Megan said.

"I think about that night I saw you naked," Anoop said quickly. Megan raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to go on.

"At the mansion," Anoop clarified.

"You mean that time I wanted you to see me naked?" Megan asked. "But you just ran away."

"I guess I wasn't ready for it," Anoop said. "But I thought about it all the time. And I still do."

"Are you ready to be with me now?" Megan asked, even though she knew it was cruel and she had a show to do. She just couldn't help herself. "Are you ready to be with both of us? Or are you just ready to be with Matt?"

Anoop sighed and Megan stepped closer, still clutching the flowers. She felt like they represented something she would never have.

"Last night..." Anoop said. "I don't know. Sometimes it's hard to balance being with you and Matt. It was easier when it was just us."

"Or maybe it's easier when it's just you and Matt in LA," Megan said. Anoop didn't say anything. Megan watched him, pushing her hair back. It had grown pretty long again and she was ready to cut it.

"Matt wrote that song for you, you know," Megan said. "I mean, I was there and I helped him and I wanted to do it but it was his idea and he did most of the work. He was really into it. I know he was thinking about you the whole time. He loves to talk about you. You're our number one topic of conversation, Anoop."

"We talk about you, too," Anoop said but Megan shook her head.

"It's okay if you want to be with him," Megan said. "Just be honest with me. Don't use me to lie to yourself."

"I wasn't lying--" Anoop said but Megan cut him off.

"Look, I didn't want to choose," Megan said. "But maybe that was the wrong decision. If you want to choose, that's your decision, Anoop. Just be upfront about it. I want us to always have a relationship. I love you, nothing is going to change that. But you've got to do what's best for you. I understand, okay? Give me some credit. You love Matt. I'm not going to stand in your way."

Anoop just stood there. She looked into his brown eyes which were always so carefully composed to show nothing more than the bare minimum but right now she could practically see everything there, his guilt, his confusion, his hesitation, his fear. There was still that spark between them except now she knew it wasn't meant to become a flame no matter how much fuel she added to the fire. But she wanted it to. No matter what she wanted it too. Maybe she'd been using Matt to get to Anoop before any of them knew. Maybe she knew that having Matt around would be the only way she could keep him.

But it wouldn't work forever.

Before she knew it she was pressed against the wall, Anoop's lips covering her mouth. She had a show, she was dressed up, full hair and make-up but it didn't matter because after the first kiss they were already too gone. Megan moaned, feeling Anoop's tongue slip into her mouth. She'd been waiting all weekend for this, Anoop's lips clamping hard on top of hers and his teeth grazing her lower lip and then kissing harder and harder until they were breathless. Anoop's hands were grabbing her ass, pulling her in closer so she could feel his erection pressing against her through his jeans. She was wearing a dress and he pushed it up higher and higher. She could feel his cool hands on the back of her bare thighs and then around the edge of her thong. She wrapped a leg around him and kissed him even harder. Anoop's lips were all over her, nibbling her neck and sucking her ear and her collarbone. She could feel him there and then his finger, slipping inside of her and she gasped, biting her lower lip and squirming under his touch. His heart was beating so fast. She could feel it under his t-shirt.

"Oh God," Anoop moaned.

She wanted more. Megan reached down and unzipped his pants, touching him through his boxers and Anoop pressed back against her hand. She hiked up her dress higher and Anoop pulled her thong down, which was sticky and damp now. Anoop pulled her leg up around him while she was pulled his cock out. She was impressed that Anoop was able to brace her up against the wall after he pulled her other leg up but then again, he'd always been strong. The small of her back hit the wall each time Anoop thrust inside of her but she didn't care. She was breathing hard and sweat beaded on Anoop's brow and his eyes were closed, bending his knees while he was fucking her so hard that she could feel him everywhere. She gasped, trying to control herself and she was slipping, Anoop's body slick underneath her. His legs were shaking but then she realized that he was coming and she moaned against his lips, riding out his orgasm with him.

He let her go and she slipped back to the floor, sliding all the way down the wall until she was sitting on her butt because her legs just weren't working right. Anoop panted above her. There was a knock on the door.

"Five minutes, Miss Joy," someone called.

"Here," Anoop said, grabbing her hands and pulling her up. Megan escaped to the bathroom to clean up and make herself presentable. When she came out, Anoop was holding the roses, now neatly contained in a glass vase.

"I found one," he said.

Megan moved closer and ran both hands through his thick hair, looking into his eyes.

"Thank you," she said in a low voice.

"Have a great show," Anoop said.

She kissed him softly, sweetly, knowing the whole time that there was more than a glass flower vase between them, pushing them apart.

 

* 

 

Anoop found his seat next to Matt just before the show started at one of the tables near the front.

"Got a session when we get back," Matt said. "Someone might want to buy one of my songs."

"Great," Anoop said, sitting down.

"Where's the flowers?" Matt asked. Anoop looked at his empty hands for a moment.

"I gave them to her," Anoop said.

"Why'd you do that? What are we going to do after the show?"

Anoop didn't really know. He shook his head.

"I'm excited," Matt said. "It's going to be a really good show."

Anoop smiled the best he could which wasn't very good but Matt didn't seem to notice because he was staring at the piano on the stage, probably imagining himself behind it.

"Hey," Anoop said before he could really think about it. "I really did like that song you guys wrote."

"Just a little something something I threw together," Matt said. "No big deal."

Anoop wanted to go further but at the same time he didn't. He kept hearing Megan's voice in his ear. _You love Matt._ How could she look at him and know? He didn't even want to know.

What did Matt know?

He glanced over at Matt, who was reading the cocktail menu.

"Do you want something?" Anoop asked.

"Nah. I was just seeing what they have out there. Arizona Sandstorm sounds like a good drink though."

"Oh yeah?"

"It's got Tabasco sauce. I would never drink it. I mean, it just sounds interesting."

Anoop reached over like he was going to grab the menu but as soon as his fingers brushed Matt's he knew that wasn't true. The lights dimmed at that moment and then looking at a menu would be really stupid. So Anoop just left his hand there, closed his fingers around Matt's until he felt Matt squeezing back. When the lights came back up Megan was on stage and Anoop let Matt go.

She was gorgeous, like always, dark hair falling against her daring gold dress. Without the restrictions of Idol or anything else Megan strutted across the stage, moving her hips and using that smoky, jazzy voice that filled Anoop's head and sent shivers down his spine, right to his tailbone. Her songs were original, punchy, soulful and unforgettable. One moment she would be singing some light-hearted, upbeat song and the next this deep, bluesy number with this sad authority in her voice that reminded Anoop that even though he and Megan were almost the same age he hadn't experienced as much in life as she had. It made him anxious. He didn't want to be just another guy who decided Megan was second best. She was the only one he wanted for such a long time. Then Matt's arm brushed against his and he was confused all over again.

At the end of the concert, Megan's band got a standing ovation. Matt was the first one on his feet, clapping and slipping two fingers in his mouth to whistle loudly. Anoop stood up with everyone else, half-a-step behind like always. He clapped as hard as he could, slamming his palms together as if that could make up for everything but he knew it wouldn't.

"I feel dumb," Matt said, as they headed back to Megan's dressing room. "We're empty handed. We should have something."

"We have each other," Anoop said, because that was the only thing he could think of.

"I know that we're pretty awesome," Matt said. "But I would still like a present if I were her."

Megan threw the door open before he could even knock, already back in jeans and t-shirt.

"Hey," she said and Anoop couldn't detect anything in her happy grin.

"Baby, you were amazing," Matt said, pulling Megan into a tight hug. "Incredible! It was even better than last time and I didn't even think that was possible. Can I go on the road with you guys? Sure you don't need a pianist?"

Megan laughed and hit his chest lightly. "Get out of here," she said.

Anoop hugged her next, wrapping his arms around her carefully even though he was the one that felt fragile.

"It was..." Anoop paused, finally finding the right word. "Fearless," he said.

Megan leaned back and he stared down into her knowing eyes.

"Thank you," she said.

"Sorry we don't have anything!" Matt said. "Anoop already gave you the flowers. I don't know what he was thinking. Anoop ruins everything!"

He was laughing but Anoop couldn't keep up the smile. Megan laughed too which only made Anoop feel even more guilty.

"I liked that Anoop gave me the present before the concert," Megan said. "It was exactly what I needed."

They all stood there and didn't say anything for a couple moments, not even Matt. Anoop's heart was beating fast because he wasn't sure what happened now.

"We only have one more night together," Megan said softly. "Let's go back to our place."

It was a nice night, warm, with lots of stars. Matt and Megan took each other's arms and skipped together, singing something that Anoop couldn't quite hear. He walked up behind them as Megan used her key to open the door. When he walked in, Anoop noticed the bottle of champagne set in ice on the table and there was a flat pink box beside it which turned out to be full of chocolate-covered strawberries.

"This was my surprise," Matt said. "So Anoop actually didn't ruin them all. My surprise for both of you."

"Oh Matt," Megan said. She kissed him and Anoop watched Matt wrap his arms around her, stared at the way his mouth worked against hers. He didn't feel jealous or maybe Megan was right. Maybe he really was lying to himself. When Anoop popped the cork on the champagne they both jumped, pulling away.

"Cheers," Anoop said.

 

* 

 

Megan tied her black bikini top behind her neck in the bathroom because she hadn't had a chance to wear her bathing suit yet and she wanted a few minutes alone.

The show had been incredible. Megan never knew how comfortable performing could feel until she started doing her own music. She had her own world on that stage, with her band, and everyone else was invited there and they loved it. She rocked that stage, giving the audience everything while she felt Anoop still dripping between her legs. It was strange how that made her feel more confident, sexier, even though she knew she should probably be more worried about staining her dress. When she came off that stage she was ready to face them, both Matt and Anoop.

She knew what she had to do.

They were both sitting in the hot tub when she walked outside, barefoot and smiling. Matt took her hand and helped her step inside. She sat right in-between them and Anoop handed her a champagne flute. The bubbles tickled her nose and eased the ache in her throat she didn't even know was there until she swallowed. Matt ran his hand over her thigh and she shivered lightly under his touch. The bubbles were everywhere, white foam frothing all around and in the champagne glass. She could feel the jets in her back, pressing the warm water against her bare skin. Anoop held his champagne in his hand but he wasn't drinking.

"You really were amazing," Matt said, nuzzling his nose against her neck. Megan smiled and put her arm around him. "You just get better and better."

"Well, not everyone can be simply incredible right off the bat," Megan said. "So thank you."

"It's a gift," Matt said, laughing. "My mama made me that way."

"I was captivated," Anoop said. Megan was glad he spoke because it was easy for Anoop to slip into these long periods of not talking, especially when she and Matt were together and then she couldn't be sure of anything that was going on his head. Not that it was any easier when he did speak. But when he said something Megan felt she had more of a chance to understand him.

"I wish I could," Anoop continued. She followed his gaze to all of the bubbles popping and cracking in the middle of the hot tub. "I wish I could put myself out there on stage like you do."

"She's very honest," Matt said. "Anoop lies a lot."

"Only to you," Anoop said.

"I asked him to get a cheesecake one night," Matt said. "He said he couldn't find it. But I know it was at the store. It was right there."

"You don't need any cheesecake," Anoop said.

"What does it matter what I need?" Matt said. "You asked me what I wanted!"

Megan smiled, leaning into Matt. No matter what happened next she didn't want to give this up. She could be entertained by Matt and Anoop all day and it wasn't just because of the sex. It was the energy they had together. Megan always wanted to be a part of that but now she realized that the best thing she could do was watch.

"I like it when it's sweeter," Matt said, gesturing to the champagne bottle.

"I like dry champagne," Megan said. "It's more sophisticated."

"As long as you like it," Matt said, "That's all that matters. We wanna make you happy."

"Oh yeah?" Megan said, raising an eyebrow. Her heart started beating faster in her chest.

"Why do you think we came here?" Matt asked. "It wasn't just to see a good show. We wanted to please you."

"Okay," Megan said, plan falling into place. "You can please me." She finished the rest of her champagne in one long swallow. She caught Anoop staring at her arm. She knew that people thought she should regret the tattoo or at least feel silly about it but she didn't have time for that. The only thing she was worried about was filling in the missing piece. At one time she thought it might be Anoop but now she knew she had to keep searching.

"Let's play a new game," Megan said, grabbing a strawberry from the box. "It's called Director."

"What's that?" Matt said.

"I tell you two what to do," Megan said, looking at both of them. "And you _have_ to do it. Anything."

"Anything?" Matt said. "Sounds dangerous."

Megan glanced at Anoop who had his face carefully blank. "Everybody has to play," Megan said. She put the chocolate-covered strawberry in her mouth and leaned into Anoop.

"Take it," she said, talking around the strawberry the best she could. Anoop's lips met hers in the middle and she opened her mouth to let the strawberry go. Anoop chewed with his mouth closed and Megan kissed the corners of his mouth and ran her tongue over his top lip.

She grabbed another strawberry and dangled it in front of Matt's mouth. "Open wide," she said. She placed the strawberry delicately in his mouth and he also sucked on her finger as she pulled her hand away. Matt would open his mouth while he was chewing and she cupped her hands around his face and kissed him, tasting mostly the chocolate, dark chocolate, bitter and cool. She pulled away, breathing out through her nose.

"Now," Megan said, heart pounding. "I want you two to kiss each other."

Matt leaned over her and Anoop met him in the middle. She watched them kiss, inches from her face and it was like her fantasies, back at home alone, except in the flesh in front of her. The only thing that hadn't changed was that she was still alone.

Anoop had his hands on the side of Matt's arms and Matt's fingers were pressing into Anoop's back. Megan could see it all. She scooted back, adjusting herself so that the hot tub jet hit her right where she was beginning to get aroused and she closed her eyes, taking all of it in. When she opened them again, Matt and Anoop were still making out.

"Okay," she said, quietly. "You can stop now."

They got out of the hot tub a few minutes later. It was a relief to be back in the air-conditioned bungalow, wrapped up in a big fluffy towel that Anoop placed carefully around her shoulders. The hot tub was getting a little too hot.

"Stand right in front of me," Megan said, turning back to the boys. "It's time for inspections. I think it's been more than 30,000 miles."

"I don't think it's been that long," Matt said. Megan laughed along with him and pulled down swim shorts.

"Let's go, Anoop." Megan said. "Remember, I said anything."

She looked them both up and down after Anoop stepped out of his own swim shorts. There was so much to admire about both of their bodies. She didn't know what she was going to do when she wouldn't see them naked anymore. She started walking around them, memorizing every angle, whistling to herself while they just stood there.

"You're making me nervous," Matt said.

"Stand up straight," Megan said. She came around him and slapped his ass, then gave it a good squeeze. "Back that thang up." She laughed while Matt grinded up against her singing, "Hey...ho..hey...ho..." Even Anoop was cracking a smile.

"You need to suck in your gut though," Megan said. "Anoop's stomach is perfectly flat."

"Yeah, that's because he has, like, no body fat," Matt said. "That's not fair."

Megan grinned, walking over to Anoop. She put a hand on his chest and let it travel all the way down to just below his navel. "Long legs," Megan said, looking up at him. She pressed her thumb against his lips. "Such a nice mouth." She grabbed his hand and brought his palm to her lips. "I love these hands," she mumbled, lips muffled by his hand so she wasn't sure if he could even hear. She rubbed herself against him, feeling the heat of his cock through her bikini bottoms as he grew hard. She rested her forehead against his chest and took a deep breath. Anoop put his arms around her.

"So," Matt said. "Who wins?"

"You want to know who's bigger?" Megan asked, turning towards him.

Matt laughed, shaking his head. "Megan," he said. "I think we _know_!"

"Okay, it's simple," Megan said, stepping away from Anoop. "You both win. You both win each other. Get on the bed."

Megan got her bag from her suitcase. She came prepared with all sorts of things, like handcuffs and her french maid outfit. She thought the bikini was good enough though. She also had her vibrator in there. She wrapped her hand around it, pausing for just a moment. The condoms were a given and she tossed the lube on the bed.

"My favorite thing," Matt said, grabbing the lube. He was laying on his back and Anoop was sitting against the headboard. Megan stayed near her bag on the other side of the room.

"Touch each other's cocks," Megan said. "At the same time."

"Sounds good to me," Matt said but Anoop was watching her questioningly.

"You have to do it," Megan said. "You have to do anything I say. I'm the director."

She waited until Matt reached for Anoop. He looked away once Matt started grabbed him. Megan watched both of them, hands moving up and down on each other's hard cocks, slick with the lube she provided. It made her think about LA, bright lights and movies stars and all the things they did when she wasn't there. She wondered if they could see her right now. In fact, she felt invisible. She turned her vibrator on but she could still hear them, especially Matt's moaning and the slick slap of skin-on-skin.

"Okay," Megan said, raising her voice over everything. "I want you two to fuck. Face each other."

She had never watched this before. In fact, they barely discussed this but Matt and Anoop seemed to know what they were doing. Matt whispered something in Anoop's ear and then they were kissing and she was invisible again. Megan sat down on a chair near the bed and put her leg up against a table. Her hands were shaking more than the vibrator but she managed to press it against her clit anyway after she pulled her bikini bottoms off. It wasn't the same as if they were touching her but it wasn't bad either.

It was all she had.

Anoop only looked at her when he was rolling on the condom. She pressed her lips together and stared back until he glanced away.

"You better do him good," she said. "Because I love both of you."

She sucked in her breath, pressing herself harder against the vibrator as Anoop thrust himself inside of Matt. It was strange watching but it was as hot as she thought it would be. She lifted her butt off the chair for a moment and tilted her head back, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, Anoop was bracing himself on Matt's shoulders and Matt was jerking himself off. Anoop rested his forehead against Matt's and he wasn't even fucking him that hard. Megan remembered the way Anoop slammed her up against the wall before her show. It wasn't like that with Matt. Anoop was panting and Matt groaned and she could tell by the way Matt's eyelid's were fluttering that he was about to come but then Anoop ended up coming first.

"Now..." Megan said. She knew everything about her body. She knew how to make herself come and she was almost close, watching Anoop help Matt out. She took a deep breath, trying to control her ragged breathing. "Now, Anoop, tell Matt you love him."

Anoop turned to her sharply. Megan started to laugh. Then she got off the chair and locked herself inside the bathroom. She decided to use the movable shower head to take her the rest of the way. She sank down on the bench there in the shower, water spattering at her legs as the shower-head jerked around on the porcelain shower floor, unattended. Megan had never had an orgasm that made her cry before but she figured there was a first time for everything.

 

* 

 

They had to get back on the road early Sunday morning or at least before noon. Anoop had a showcase he wanted to attend that night that seemed important at the time but now he just felt like a jerk. Even though he warned Matt in advance, it was still hard waking him up. Megan had all her bags packed and waiting near the door. Anoop knew that she had to get back on the road too.

He joined her on the back deck. She was sitting at the table there with a mug of coffee. Anoop sat in the chair beside her.

"Do you want me to order breakfast?" he asked. Megan shook her head.

"It's not so hot," she said, lifting her hair from her neck. "It's not as hot as last time. I always felt like I was melting when I was here last summer."

Anoop nodded. "Yeah. I just stayed in the room."

"It was so different," Megan said. Anoop had to laugh because that was such an understatement.

"You didn't listen to me last night," Megan said after a moment. Anoop reached for her mug and took a sip of her coffee. Megan made it too sweet but he took another swallow anyway.

"It's hard for me to say," Anoop finally said.

"You just don't have all the time in the world, Anoop," Megan said.

Anoop scooted the mug back over her and looked out over the palm trees they kept constantly watered and the pretty trails that led to the main resort complex, mostly empty even though it was mid-morning. This resort contained so many memories. Anoop felt like he had pieces of his life scattered all over the country and he wasn't allowed to try and collect them again.

"Is this where the party's at?" Matt asked, walking over to them. He was carrying the box of leftover chocolate covered strawberries.

"That's healthy," Anoop said.

"Best breakfast I ever had," Matt said. He tossed the box on the table. After a moment, Anoop took one.

"Fun weekend," Matt said, reaching over to squeeze the back of Megan's arm. "We should do it again soon."

"I don't know," Megan said. Anoop watched her, wondering if she was really going to do it. "I'm pretty busy in Utah. The band is really taking off. In fact, we're organizing a tour for the summer. This arrangement is a little..." Anoop held his breath while Megan paused. "It's a little stifling for me. Don't get me wrong, Matt, it has nothing to do with you. It's not bad. It was just a fun experiment but I think it's over now. We're friends."

When Anoop finally looked at Matt he had an alarmed look on his face.

"Are you serious?" Matt asked. "Anoop?"

Anoop shrugged but before he could say anything Megan started talking again. "I'm not talking about you and Anoop. I'm just talking about... me. I feel like a third wheel here and let's fact it, I am. Let's just be honest."

"But you're _not_," Matt insisted. Anoop ran a hand through his hair as Matt looked at him again. "Anoop!"

"I don't know what to say," Anoop said.

"Yes you do," Megan said.

"I don't want things to change," Matt said, at the same time.

Anoop rested his hand on the back of his neck. "Things have changed," he said, quietly.

"Come on, Matt," Megan said. "Anoop and I have been talking behind your back all weekend. You had to notice. It's just not working."

"What were you talking about?" Matt asked, raising his voice.

"About how Anoop should be with you," Megan said. Anoop knew he couldn't stop either one of them.

"Anoop?" Matt said, really looking at him this time. Anoop rubbed his face and he could feel the sweat collecting at his hairline that had nothing to do with the heat.

"We talked about that," Anoop said.

"What did you say? But I love both of you," Matt said, still talking loudly, the most upset Anoop had ever heard him. "I thought that's what this is all about!"

"Maybe you're the only one that can really pull it off, Matt," Megan said. Anoop hadn't thought about this part. Matt just looked dumbfounded.

"Wow," Matt said. He looked down at the table for a few moments. Then he got up and went back inside.

Anoop sighed, leaning back in his chair. It was so rare to see Matt speechless.

"He'll be okay," Megan said. "Shouldn't we be honest?"

He knew she was right so he just nodded. It didn't quell the uneasy feeling in his stomach though. Megan leaned forward and took his hands from across the table.

"Call me when you get back," she said.

"I will," Anoop said. He squeezed her hands and they sat like that for a long time. He wondered if she knew how hard it was for him to let her go. But Anoop had never been good with things like this. He couldn't find the words to say that either.

They left about an hour later. Anoop didn't hang around Matt and Megan when they said goodbye. The sun beat down on him as he waited beside Matt's SUV and he pulled his sticky t-shirt away from his chest. They finally came back and Megan gave him a final hug and a kiss.

"Don't forget," Megan said. There were so many things not to forget that Anoop didn't quite know what she was talking about but he nodded anyway.

He took the keys from Matt and got in the driver's seat. They both waved as Anoop pulled out of the parking lot. Matt managed to push the right buttons and then the GPS was talking them through the fastest route home. Matt found the station he liked on Sirius Radio and Anoop didn't say anything. They listened silently for miles down the highway, still just as deserted as when they drove up there. Anoop was starting to doubt that people actually lived in Arizona. After an hour he realized that Matt hadn't said anything. He looked over at him to see if he was sleeping but Matt was just staring out the window.

"Look," Matt said, a little while later. "A cow."

Anoop didn't even know what he was doing before he did it but all of a sudden he pulled over and stopped the car on the side of the road. He stared at the low fence that separated the highway shoulder from this patchy little half-green field with one sad looking cow standing under a tree.

"I told you they existed," Matt said.

Anoop sat there for a moment. "Matt--" he said. His heart caught in his throat and he couldn't get any other words past it.

Matt turned to him, looking at him for the first time since they got in the car. Anoop grabbed the back of Matt's neck and jammed himself against the console in order to kiss him hard. He felt Matt's lips yielding under his and he kissed him harder, tangling his fingers in Matt's curls, his other hand pressed against Matt's knee. He felt like he had never kissed Matt quite like this before and he wanted Matt to feel it too. His heart was still his throat, beating painfully, choking him but he kept kissing Matt even though it felt like he might not take another breath. Matt pushed back against him, curling his hand up against Anoop's chest. He might have passed out if it weren't for the 18 wheeler truck that passed them suddenly, blasting his horn the whole time.

"You think he saw us?" Matt said. They were both breathing hard. Anoop cupped Matt's face in his hands.

"Yes," Anoop said. He brushed his thumb against Matt's lips, remembering when Megan did the same thing to him.

It was the best he could do. Anoop hoped it was enough.


End file.
